Welcome to my "Groaner's Alley" Punny Page

"Some days you just gotta take a deep breath and Pun't"

© 1999 Wolf emblem last revised August 2000

wamtaH'puH'Volq jIH
Qapla'!

Back when my sister was in elementary school she decided that she wanted to take piano lessons. While she gave up playing after her recital we still have that very same piano. Some 20+ years ago I decided to see if I could write a tune that had occurred to me a few years before. However, after a couple of years, I had to give up fiddlin' with it when I got a Double Hernia.
(punch)

Have you ever tried "Fiddlin'" with a piano? Those thangs are hea-vy!
(next)

Back in November 1977 I designed a paper airplane with 3 tails. Some years later I was inspired by the Texas musicians "The Lost Tribe" to rename the design as "The Irish Flyer" because, like my Airplane design, an Irish Flyer(pilot) has 3 tails/tales:
(punch)

The Half Truth...Nothing Whatsoever Resembling the Truth, and...The Truth Not To Be Believed ... if you know what's good for your sanity.
(next)

You know, Milton Berle was really, really old when he told his last joke.
(punch)

He was so old that he had forgotten that he had "Borrowed" the same joke from at least three other comedians. But that's not the worst of it!
(punch)

He was so old that he had forgotten that he was the first Comedian to tell it! (next)

Now, most people know why the chicken crossed the road ... to get to the other side. But do you know why the Roadrunner crossed the road?
(punch)

Well, Duuhhh! That's what they do ... that's who they are.


Now this next one was inspired by the British sitcom, "My Hero."

Why did Santa Clause cross the World?
(punch)

Well, Duh! He is Father Christmas after all ... that's what he does.

The next two are for all you Klingon fans who truly appreciate a really bad Klingon pun.

I just saw the animated Static Shock episode "A League of Their Own" and, WoW, Cool. A minor super hero being asked to help out such Major Super Heros as THE Justice League.I mean, what's not to admire. After all,
(punch)

He is a real Cling-On. (next)

'evnagh'nagh
(punch)

>)
nuqneH!
>)
(next)

Name one thing a Deposed Iraqi Leader should never call an American Military Dentist.
(punch)

Okay, Yank!
(next)

Last night I gave a Roach a good whack with a flyswatter.

There's just one problem with swatting a Cockroach all the way into next Doomsday...
(punch)

He'll be right there waitin' for ya'!
(next)

Have you ever noticed that Cats don't care what you call them as long as it isn't "Late Fur?"
(punch)

Late fer lunch, Late fer Supper, Late fer ....
(next)

Today's Gas prices give a whole new meaning to the phrase ...
(punch)

Thirty'll getcha' Ten!
(sadly, not so funny as Twenty'll ....)
(next)

How will Jonathan Del Arco be introduced in his Halloween drag costume?
(punch)

Little ol' Ladee Hugh
(next)

Social Sciences Division

©1999

E-mail: YllibYar@hotmail.com

Fort Worth, Texas
Page last updated/revised/corrected August 2007